Date

I've never really had boys actually take me on a date. I had plenty of boyfriends who never took me out once. I guess this is the reason why now, when a boy asks me out on a date, I freak out and feel as if I don't know where my life is headed... Yeah, it's that serious.

So tonight I went on a date with someone that I literally just met. It didn't start out as a date. At first it was just my best friend and I hanging out and then the kid came. It was horrible. I felt no connection to this kid and he was so awkward. Saying things like "I'm gonna buy you a build a bear" or some shit. He was too open about his feelings and when we're alone, he doesn't talk... He just stares at me. Awkwardly.

There is no way I see anything happening with this kid.

So I told the kid that I had to go home and spent the rest of the night with my best friend.

I know it sounds really bad and messed up but... I agreed to go on a date with my best friend. I don't know why but something seemed different tonight. Maybe it was just the embarrassment of a terrible date so I needed to find one with someone I know I'll have fun with or maybe it was supposed to happen.

Whatever it was... It all feels different.

Forgive but never forget

I forgive you.













but I will never forget what you did to me.

Okay

No, I'm not okay with any of this.

I don't know if I ever will be okay with any of this.

I know I said I would be okay with it, but that's easier said than done.







I'm not okay with it, so how about we get rid of it now before I become okay with it.

"My lack of interest in seeing you is not a strategy. I'm not playing hard to get....... You're untrustworthy, so I don't want to see you. You're self-centered, so I don't want to see you. I am a hundred percent certain that if I let you back in my life again you will hurt me again, so I don't want to see you. This isn't a ploy. I'm not pouting. I don't want you in my life. Get your crap out of my apartment."

Photo Shoot

I need to do a photo shoot soon... Preferably now.

Maybe I do believe it, all this “meant to be” stuff. Why not believe it, really? Who doesn’t want more romance in their life? Maybe it’s just up to us to make it happen. To show up and be meant for each other. At least that way you’ll find out for sure - if you’re meant to be or not.

-Meredith Grey

There don’t have to be harps playing or birds singing or pose petals falling from the sky… And there are definitely days when the romance is dead. But if you look around, things are pretty amazing. So stop for a second. Enjoy the beauty. Feel the magic. Drink it in. ‘Cause it won’t last forever. The romance will fade. Things will happen. People will change. Love will die. But… maybe not today.

-Meredith Grey

Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here, and don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks.

-Christina Yang

 "I always said I'd be happier alone. I'd have my work, my friends - but someone in your life all the time? More trouble than it's worth. Apparently, I got over it...There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever." 

I miss all of it, but I'm only protecting myself.

My Babies

"If my body is a temple, why not decorate the walls?"

B.O.A

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child
But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
Yeah, she steals like a thief
But she's always a woman to me


Oh, she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh, and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She will promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you're bleedin'
But she'll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she's always a woman to me
Oh, she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh, and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
But she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me

"She's not a person, she's an epidemic."