I can't make up my mind.
I give up on you but I wanna keep trying, it's confusing. I literally walk around all day just thinking of what would happen if I gave up on you... and then I would think about what would happen if I didn't.
You know, I wish someone wrote a book, "How to Survive as a Romantically Indecisive Teenage Girl", that would help a whole fucking lot.
Are you using me? Am I just so afraid of being hurt that I second guess everything?
It's funny, usually I can take a chance without any questions. I live for the thrill of things, but I guess sometimes I go too far.
Risks I Have Taken:
Loving someone: Check.
Clinging to that person: Check.
Giving a peace of myself to that person: Double Check.
Having that person leave without a word: Check.
Trying to forget him completely and failing miserably: Regrettably, check.
So maybe that's it, maybe I'm so afraid of all that happening again. Being left alone. After all, history repeats itself, doesn't it?
Or maybe I've just given up completely on relationships?
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