Alone

"No man is an island"
Bullshit

Everyone feels like this at one point in their life. Like there is no one who really understands you and like you're alone. An island. There is no one that can even try to relate to you or what you're going through.

I've really tried to get rid of this feeling, tried to distract myself with everything else but it never seemed to work. At the end of the day the feeling would crawl back to me. I tried to drown this feeling in every kind of alcohol I know, even in the mornings when the feeling was beginning to affect my mood. I didn't want people to know that I was feeling this way, it was kind of embarrassing. At this point, I really don't care anymore, I just wanna get back to how I was feeling two weeks ago. Happy.

 "I always said I'd be happier alone. I'd have my work, my friends - but someone in your life all the time? More trouble than it's worth. Apparently, I got over it...There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It could go on forever." ~Meredith Grey (Greys Anatomy)

My best friend left without a word, a lot of my family is dead, and I don't feel like people actually care sometimes. I just feel like people act like they care to make me stop talking and, to be honest, it does make me stop because I know people are only acting. I'm getting used to being on my own but it's not a good feeling, knowing you're content with being alone, it kinda sucks.