The Silent Girl

"I won't talk until I see a change... I'm not going to talk just to please you" 

He hurt her. She didn't like his drinking and she confronted him. 

A week went by and he hadn't had a drink since she confronted him and she was still hurting. 

No one seemed to understand that she was deeply hurt, they just kept telling her to talk to him and "get back to normal." At first she considered it but then she thought 'Why the fuck should I? He hurt me and I haven't gotten an apology or even a hint of one. Fuck it, I'll go five years without speaking to him if I need to.' 

"He's your father and it's killing him when you don't speak to him..." What they didn't understand is that every time he got a drink... He killed her. She had been killed 10 times over until she decided that enough was enough and she took matters into her own hands. She simply decided to be happy. No one stood up or fought for her... Why should she please them? 

She fights wars by herself now. 

The Sanctuary

 My heart is a forest... 

That's not normally what people say. Usually people say that their hearts are protected by walls that only one person can get through. This is not the case with me. My heart is a forest., it's open and exposed all the time but there are millions upon millions little obstacles that people can come across.

There are only two guys in my life that have gotten into the sanctuary in my little forest. They're still in there which is a little problem for me because they shouldn't be there... They take up all this room and there is no room for anyone else in the sanctuary. What is going to happen when I find the guy that is supposed to completely control the sanctuary? Will the other two other throw him? Or bow down?

6 months

They say that a crush only lasts 4 months and if it goes beyond that then you're already in love. I kinda don't know how I feel about this sudden realization that I have had the same guy on my mind for about 6 months. I keep hoping to see him but obviously since I went on vacation I wasn't around. I found out today when I finally got home that he had also finally come home from his vacation.

I know I'll see him before the summers over... I need to prepare.

Quotes

“As we grow up, we learn that the one person who isn’t supposed to let you down, probably will, and the one person that you never thought would be there for you, is. You’re going to have fights with your friends, you’re going to lose some of your friends, you may even fall in love with one of your friends.You will eventually lose someone you love, and love someone you never thought you’d find. People are going to hate you, love you, love to hate you, and hate to love you. But the ones who mean the most to you will always be there.”

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

“When it comes to relationships, maybe we’re all in glass houses, and shouldn’t throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than Butterflies…”

"Among the butterflies, I felt butterflies."

"Soul mate. Two little words, one big concept"

“I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.”

“That crazy concept that we’re not really responsible for the course our lives take. That it’s all predestined, written in the stars. Maybe that explains why, if you live in a city, where you can’t even see the stars, your love life tends to feel a little more random. And even if our every man, every kiss, every heartache, is pre-ordered from some cosmic catalogue, can we still take a wrong step and wander off our own personal milky way? I couldn’t help but wonder, can you make a mistake and miss your fate?”

"Some love stories aren’t epic novels. Some are short stories. But that doesn’t make them any less filled with love."

"The truth is, it’s not just the men, anyone that’s single [in Manhattan] get’s a little freaked out from time to time. But we keep trying, because you have to figure, if the worlds fattest twins can find love, somewhere out there is another little freak that will love us, understand us and kiss our three heads to make it all better."

-Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City

These things I'll never say (Maybe)

"I know I'm probably annoying u but I'm having a shit night and I cant stop. some guy tonight told me that he believes in love at first sight and I don't. i don't believe in anything because the kid that i love left. You left and I'm stuck not being able to believe that any love will ever find me. my relationships mean nothing anymore.Why did you leave? Why? You...

Don't get me wrong, I've moved on and I'm happy but i miss you cause you were my best friend. and i want to believe that every things gonna work out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's not perfect but it's real, it's how I feel. Fuck, I accidently pressed send.

Push

I think this is the part when I'm supposed to push people away.

The Graduate

Jonathan Joseph- former teacher/best friend

Congratulations Class of 2012


I'm finally finished with high school, I can't believe how bittersweet this feeling is. I'm not going to pretend I'm happy about this, I'm going to miss all  the people I have become close to over the four short years, I am very happy that I did it though.

My momma

Lucas

Despite all the doubts people had about me, I'm a fucking high school graduate. I have a diploma and an ability to conquer the world if I really wanted to.

Daddy

My brother will be in the high school next year and I don't think he realizes how amazing it's going to be, he'll learn who is real friends are and make loads of new ones. He'll become close to teachers and figure out who he is and what he wants to become. Sure, there will be heart break and hurt along the way but it'll all be worth it once he walks across that stage.

I feel like things are going to be better now. I finally reconnected with an old friend, I can finally have the teachers I became friends with on Facebook (Assuming they add me), and I don't have to deal with people I don't like. I can finally say that I, Lauren Jessica Iannucci, am an adult and I plan to live my life to the fullest and be happy.