Out of Nowhere

I can't do this. I can't not talk to you. I can't pass you in the hall, & pretend I don't care.


There are some thing's that you never see coming. If there is one thing I have learned, thing's happen unexpectedly. One minute you're good friends, and the next, he's the person you can't be without. 


The other part that you don't expect is the whole "Let's not make this obvious" act. So we go around acting like we don't know each other, until we get a moment alone, when we all of a sudden know everything about each other. 


I can't stand being in that kind of relationship with someone, but at the same time it's kind of exciting. Tricking everyone around us that we're not close and at the same time having this arsenal full of each other's secrets and wishes. 


Then, out of nowhere, thing's work out and we decide to tell people. That's when reality hits us and we realize that this might have been the biggest mistake we've ever made. 

Dreams vs Reality

"I had a dream..."


I had a dream that my parents got divorced, it kind of got me curious about relationships. I feel the need to get involved. I begin to ask questions about relationships and because I get very excitable about things like this, I get carried away. 


I learned that my Forensics teacher is divorced, my English teacher may be engaged, my Math teacher has a wife and three amazingly smart kids, and a couple that I know are having problems and it's only the first month or so in their relationship. 


Maybe it's because I don't have anything to distract myself with right now, it's not like I have a boyfriend that I'm constantly wrapped up in or anything. I just have Me, Myself, and I. 


So forgive me if I get carried away with the curiosity. I just need to distract myself for a while. Yeah, that sounds about right.


I normally act like I don't care about relationships. I normally just dismiss them or say something smart like "Eh, I give it a month" but lately I seem to feel like everything will work out for the better. I think my dreams are triggering this hopeful feeling. 


I bought this book about dreams and their meanings and every morning I check to see what my dream meant. Lately my dreams have had something to do with love or luck. Yeah, the dreams are definitely a big part of my hopefulness. Definitely.

Philadelphia By Parachute

Taken while driving past Philadelphia

Like a gunshot from miles away
She's moving in
Like a rainstorm with out the clouds
She falls on you
Like a phone call to worn the truth
It never rings


It's the truth before the lies
It's the way she doesn't try
It's the wink before the sly
In Philadelphia
In Philadelphia


They met after work one day
She laughed with him
They drove off their separate ways
Then met for drinks
When he got home the silent guilt was deafening


It's the truth before the lies
It's the way she doesn't try
It's the wink before the sly
In Philadelphia
In Philadelphia


She thought that love was gonna fight
She thought that love was gonna take her home
She thought that love was gonna save her
But love just never showed
She felt that love was always watching
Oh we learned that love was supposed to wait
But sometimes it's the feelings
That are standing in the air

He slips off his worn out suit and tries to rest
She's a million miles away across the bed
She rolls over puts her hand across his chest


It's the truth before the lies
It's the way she doesn't try
It's the wink before the sly
In Philadelphia
In Philadelphia
In Philadelphia

From "The Notebook"

This song makes me wanna go to Philadelphia with someone special, I wanna dance to this song in the middle of the night on a empty street...

Changes

Things have defiantly changed.

Goodbye Euphoria

"Hey Lauren, do you know what happened to Marco?"
"He went to Mexico..."
"Oh, really? I didn't know that"

Nothing stays perfect forever. Just when you think you got everything figured out, everything changes.

Why couldn't you tell your friends that you left? Why do I have to do all your dirty work, huh?

Leaving without saying goodbye was a big mistake.

What did you think was gonna happen? People would just forget? They'd ask your cousins? They wouldn't care?

People do care, that's one thing you need to learn. They won't ask your cousins, they're gonna ask the ex-girlfriend that you spent two years involved with.

You didn't think this through, I'm not going to be the bearer of bad news anymore.

Euphoria

Leave her, let her dance her little heart out. She's in Euphoria...





Thing's are good again. I took a little time for myself and now I'm back to my usual self.
I'm happy.
I'm safe.
I have everyone I want around me.


I'm in Euphoria.





Come out the dark and let the DJ lead the way
Cause it’s hot in the club now, so don’t let it stop now
So hit the lights

Turn Around

Why would you go somewhere you're not wanted? Why go back to being unhappy?


Are you fucking stupid?! Turn around, they don't want you!


It's official, you're a fucking idiot, I don't understand why you won't just turn around and make a run for it, Lauren. You can do this.


You're still not turning around, this is pointless.


That's right, cry bitch. Cry you're little heart out. Even if you did run at this very moment, where the fuck would you go? It's not like anyone else wants you. Cry, cry, cry.


You're nothing, nothing but bits and pieces. People are just waiting for you to leave, so why don't you just go? Oh, wait, I know why, because you don't have anywhere else to go.