I promised that he was going to be my last time getting that close to someone. I promised that I wouldn't let anyone in again. I promised that I would never say the words "I love you" to anyone else because it was too painful when those words turned to "I hate you".
I promised that I would never admit that I missed him.
That all happened anyway.
Granted when I told you I loved you it was more of a friendly thing and you had said it first but there was a hint of right in those words. I could possibly see myself feeling that way for you but there's no way I'm brave enough to admit it to your face.
Yes, I do miss him, all the time. What did you expect? He was my constant for two years, he was my rock. You helped me out of the mess I was in when I was having trouble coping with his absence and you became my rock, my constant, my everyday.
I don't like the fact that I'm getting so close, I don't want to cling to anyone anymore because it destroys me when they leave.
I'm afraid of all of it.
I promised I wouldn't be afraid... I ended up doing that anyway.
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